Memoriam Consequences
by slery
Summary: For every action there is a reaction.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Memoriam Consequences

Author: slery

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Rating: FRAO gen

Characters: Reid

WARNINGS: Sexual assault

Spoilers: Memoriam

Beta: the-vampire-act (check out her stories, too, they're pretty good)

Summary: For every action there is a reaction.

Spencer sat on his couch--trying to relax his mind after a day of work. He was curled up in a multi-colored blanket with a large tome of the Lord of the Rings trilogy to take him away from reality. The young man was startled when he heard a knock at the door. He carefully placed the book on the table in front of him and made sure that he didn't spill his half-empty cup of coffee.

He let out a small gasp when he opened the door. William Reid stood there looking at him with a smile on his face and his hands tucked into his brown dress pants. "Uh, dad. What are you doing here?" Spencer really didn't think his dad ever wanted to see him again after he tried to pin murder on him last week.

"May I come in, Spencer?"

"Oh. Uh, sure." He stepped aside and let his father into the small hallway. Then, he turned to shut the door.

Before he could turn back around, he was pushed face first into the wall, barely missing the frame of the Dali reprint. He started to say something when William grabbed his hair and bounced his head off the wall, effectively shutting him up.

"You always were so easy, Spencer. I've really missed you." William whispered into his ear while still gripping his stringy hair tightly.

The older man kept the grip on his hair tight while his other hand ran up the front of Spencer's FBI t-shirt. He rubbed warm circles on his abdomen, coming closer and closer to the waistband of his sweat pants. "No." Spencer whispered, but that only earned him another head smack into the wall. This one was harder and he saw black spots dancing in his vision as his limbs started to go weak.

"Your crazy mother still thinks it was all in her head. But you remember, don't you? You never forget. Little Spencer was always a good boy. He never told anyone."

Reid could hear the sound of a belt being undone, followed by a zipper. He closed his eyes and remembered every night his father "loved" him when he was little. The young man sobbed into the wall when his pants were yanked down and he was forcibly entered. The pain kept him from passing out, but it wasn't enough to give him any strength to fight back.

William kept slamming into him and when he finally climaxed he kissed the back of Spencer's neck and whispered, "I have really missed you. You are so much better now that you are all grown up. We are going to have so much fun."

After he pulled out, he let go of his son. Spencer slid down the wall when his legs wouldn't hold him up. He heard a loud ringing in his ears before he fell onto his side. The last thing he saw was his father blowing him a kiss as he walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Reid had finished with his paperwork since he arrived two hours early to get out of his apartment when Morgan came strolling in. "Hey, kid. You want to help me with my pile? Yours can barely see over the sides of your inbox."

"Not funny, Morgan." He glared at the other man.

"Whoa, someone's in a bad mood--" He stopped mid-sentence and briskly walked over to Spencer's desk and grabbed his chin--tilting his head back to see the decent sized bruise. "What the hell happened to you?"

Reid jerked back out of the grip nearly falling from his chair.

***

Morgan was shocked by the terrified look in his friend's eyes. He crouched down to be less intimidating. "Easy, I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." Spencer spat defensively.

"Seriously, what happened?"

"It's nothing. I walked into the cabinet door I left open when fixing my coffee."

Morgan could tell he was lying. "An open cabinet couldn't do that."

"It can if you hit it full force right on the corner."

He sighed. While it might be true, it couldn't have happened in his friend's kitchen. The corners would have hit him in the neck or possibly the chin but his height made the forehead out of reach. Morgan let him go back to his paperwork and slowly walked over to his desk. Spencer had become a profuse liar ever since he started using drugs. Even though he knew his friend was clean now, the lying still came way to easy.

***

Around three o'clock, Spencer got up to get another cup of coffee. His head was killing him and the caffeine was not providing its usual calming affect at keeping him focused on one task. His mind kept replaying the images from his childhood that he had buried long ago.

A hand landed on his shoulder before the cabinet above his head started opening. He jerked in response and sent his mug crashing to the floor. The young man grabbed the garbage can and picked up the pieces quickly. He then wet a paper towel and wiped up the smaller fragments. When he was finished, he practically ran to the bathroom to hide without ever making eye contact with Hotch.

***

Hotch finished pouring his coffee and walked back through the bullpen. "Morgan, what is up with Reid today? He practically jumped out of his skin when I touched his shoulder."

"I have no idea. According to him, his kitchen cabinets have started fighting back."

He frowned at the statement but continued on to his office. The unit chief would just have to keep a better eye on their youngest member.

***

Spencer sat on the closed toilet lid and tried to calm his breathing. He knew he had to get things under control. He was torn by his emotions. On the one hand he wanted someone to find out and help him. But on the other hand, he didn't want anyone to know. He felt filthy on the inside and outside. Just one more hour and he could go home and shower. If he was locked in the bathroom, he wouldn't be able to answer the door.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't believe we were gone for so long." Reid complained when they finally walked into the bullpen at ten that night. He tugged on his tie to loosen it some.

"Yeah, I'm not sure Clooney will still recognize me." Morgan replied. "Hey Pretty Boy, how are you getting home?"

He pushed his hair behind his ear again hoping it would stay and sighed, "At the speed I am moving, I'll probably miss the last train and end up taking a cab."

Morgan walked over and picked up Reid's bag in his other hand, "Come on, I'll give you a ride."

"Morgan," Reid whined. "You don't have to do that. Now give me back my bag."

"Shut up and get your skinny white ass in the elevator or I'll take your bag home and leave you."

"Fine, fine. I'm coming." He slid into the elevator before the doors could close. "So what's your thing about my ass now?"

Morgan looked at him in shock. Then he saw the edges of Reid's mouth start turning up. "Now you think you're a wise ass, too."

Reid couldn't hold the laughter in any longer and pried his bag from his friend's fingers. "Give me that. You're too tired to carry it."

"How many books did you bring this time?"

"Not many." The young man hung his head so that his hair would fall across his face. It was really heavy and he felt like he would fall over but he didn't want to seem like less of a man by letting Morgan carry it for him.

"Here." Morgan reached over and added his hand to the handle. "We can both carry it." They left the elevator and trudged over to the car.

***

He felt a light pressure on his shoulder and tried to push it off. Then he heard Morgan's amused voice. "Sorry, kid but I'm not carrying you and your luggage upstairs."

Spencer brought a hand up and rubbed at his eyes being careful not to dislodge a contact. "Uh, sorry. Guess I fell asleep."

"Ya think?"

He fumbled with the seat belt and caught sight of Morgan reaching for his door handle. "No, it's okay. I can get my own bag. You're just as tired as I am and you still have to drive home." Spencer climbed from the car and barely lifted his bag out of the back seat.

"You sure you're not going to fall over with that thing."

"Yeah, yeah. I've got it." He waved good-bye and slowly made his way inside.

Spencer fumbled with the keys for a good three minutes before getting the door unlocked. As soon as he turned the knob, William stepped out of the shadows and pushed him through the door before turning and locking it back. He slid up behind his son wrapping his arms around the slender waist. "We have two whole days to spend together."

"I-I have to go into w-work tomorrow." Reid stammered.

"That's okay. We have tonight still and I'll be here when you get home."

***

Reid wore as many articles of clothing as he could into work: a white t-shirt, tan dress shirt, dark brown sweater vest, and a light brown cardigan. He really wished he could wear two pair of pants without it looking funny. But the layers still did not keep his hands from shaking all day. The young man only prayed that his hand writing was legible enough to pass.

The bubbly tech analyst came into the bullpen, "TGIF! Ladies and Gents. Anyone up for dinner and dancing tonight?"

"I am." Reid was the first to reply.

Six pairs of eyes practically popped out of their sockets. "Where's the real Reid?" Emily asked.

"Well, this is a first. Count me in. I want to see how this ends." JJ called from the catwalk by Rossi's and Hotch's offices.

"What do you say, Dave? I'm with JJ on wanting to see this." Hotch retorted.

"Well, I don't want to be left out of the gossip after this night." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Where are we meeting?"

"Pen?" Morgan asked.

"Oh, sorry, sorry. Just a little flustered there. I had all of my conniving reasons for dragging him along. He broke script and I lost my place." She twirled a pink feather pen between her fingers for a moment, "Mallory's okay with everyone?"

A chorus of, "Yes," went around the room.

"See everyone in an hour then. I'll be done in about ten minutes so I'll head over and get us a table." The perky blonde practically skipped out of the room.

Morgan leaned over and put his hand on Reid's forehead.

"Stop it, Morgan." Spencer batted the hand away only flinching slightly.

"Any sign of illness?" Hotch asked from the catwalk.

"Nope."

Spencer sent a threatening glare towards his boss.

***

The meal was a little subdued but everyone thought that they would lighten up when they went dancing.

Spencer's phone chirped at him and he glanced at the caller id before answering and quickly getting up from his chair to move to somewhere more private. "I'm having dinner with the team. I'll be home later." He swallowed a few times. "N-no. You won't need to do that. I-I'll be right home." The frightened young man took a moment to collect himself and then pulled out his wallet on his way back to the table.

He threw down enough money to cover his meal and tip, "Sorry, I have to go." Spencer mumbled.

Morgan followed him out the doors, "Is everything okay, Reid?"

"Yeah, I just have something I have to do." He could not take any more of his friend's questions and rushed towards the subway entrance.

***

Thirty minutes later, Spencer turned the knob to his apartment and stepped in.

"You're home." William said cheerfully and wrapped his son in his arms. He kissed the side of Spencer's neck. "We are going to have a wonderful time tonight and we can stay in bed all day tomorrow." He lifted the messenger bag over Spencer's head and began removing his coat. "Let me help you get more comfortable."


	4. Chapter 4

"Man, I hate Monday mornings." Morgan said when he came back into the bullpen carrying two cups of coffee. "Where's Reid?"

"He's not here?" Hotch asked from his office door.

"Reid's never this late. I thought I just missed him somewhere and by the time I had our coffees he would be at his desk."

Just then a very flustered Dr. Reid rushed through the doors and practically fell down the steps in his rush to get to his desk.

"Reid, is everything okay?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, sorry. I just over slept. And over sleeping leads to missing your train, leads to missing your connection--"

"Okay, I get the picture." Hotch chuckled before he moved into his office.

"You're sure everything is okay?" Morgan asked again.

"Yes, Morgan. And, uh . . . thanks for the coffee." The black man continued to watch his friend try to frantically settle himself and then moved over to his own desk to get started on the back log that seemed to be growing lately despite how much time they had to work on it.

***

Hotch stepped out of his office and over to the railing. "Conference Room in five minutes to divide up consults." Then he walked on around to the room to wait for the team to assemble.

Morgan was the last to arrive and he watched him walk over to the chair next to Reid. As soon as the hand landed on the younger man's shoulder he jerked back and screamed, "Get your hands off me!"

"What the hell, kid?"

Morgan started to pull the chair out but Spencer grabbed it. "No, you can sit over there." He pointed to the other side of the table.

Hotch shared a very concerned look with Rossi. "Let's get started. We've got eight consults that need to be handled this week." They continued discussing the different cases and then assigned them for follow-up. Everyone got up and left the room except for Hotch and Rossi who stood at the windows--watching them walk back to their desks.

"What's up with Reid?" Dave asked.

"I don't know. Look at him, he's keeping a perfect distance from everyone and avoiding all human contact." He pinched the bridge of his nose and then they both walked back towards their offices. They could hear Morgan trying to talk to Reid, but the conversation was ended when their youngest member told his friend to drop it and refused to say anything else.

***

It was finally late afternoon and Hotch stretched when he got out of his chair. He then headed into the bathroom. After using the facilities, while he was drying his hands, he heard quiet sobs coming from one of the stalls. They were muffled and it was obvious the person was trying to be quiet. He turned around and noticed that the shoes under the door were black converses.

"Reid? Are you okay?" He asked.

There was some sniffing and then a quiet, "Yeah."

"Why are you crying?" Hotch asked with a touch of alarm.

"Just a bad headache."

Slightly relieved that it wasn't something more serious and hoping that it explained the odd behavior of their youngest. "Why don't you go on home then? It's only a couple of hours early and if it's that bad you can't really work anyway."

"No."

"Do you need someone to drive you?"

"No. I'll be out in a minute."

Hotch sighed. Something didn't feel right about this situation but he knew pushing Spencer would only make him clam up tighter. He went back to his office and vowed to keep a closer watch out.


	5. Chapter 5

The two senior profilers followed their boy-genius into the bullpen.

"That drive back felt like forever." Rossi complained.

"And you got to relax in the passenger seat." Hotch retorted.

They both stared at the back of their silent colleague. "You got a minute, Dave?"

"Sure, your office or mine?"

"Your office is fine." Hotch followed him in and flopped into the chair across from the desk.

"Well, I can see that you are definitely out of character." The older agent stroked his graying beard while leaning back in his own chair.

"Don't profile me." Aaron sighed and ran a wide hand over his face. "I'm worried about him, Dave"

"I know. I thought things would get better."

"What do you mean?" The unit chief asked suspiciously and sat up straighter.

"That case with his father was really hard on him."

"Dave, what aren't you telling me?"

Rossi looked down at his lap for a minute, "I'm not sure I should go behind his back."

Hotch got up and paced the small room. "Do I need to suspend him?"

"No, it's not that. It's just--"

Hotch watched his friend struggle for the right words. He just knew it was going to be bad if Dave was at a loss for words. "I can't let him keep going on like this. Please tell me it's not drugs again."

"It was during the hypnotherapy session. There was something he was really uncomfortable with that didn't have to do with the case--or at least I think it only had to do with his father.

"Dave, he has a lot of hurt feelings where his father is concerned and Reid doesn't like to deal with his emotions. You have no idea how the Hankel case really messed with him before you came along." Hotch stared at his friend like he could pull the information straight from his head.

"I don't think he would deal with a suspension very well. But is there any way to get him to talk with someone?"

"We've tried that before. He's a profiler, and a genius. He runs circles around all of the psychotherapists the bureau has."

"Hotch, you know I like the annoying kid," Rossi smirked, "but you're going to lose him if someone can't get through to him."

The unit chief stared out the window and watched Reid nervously organizing his desk again, "Morgan's tried and even Garcia can't get through to him."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

Hotch came down the hall carrying several files. He stopped in Rossi's office and closed the door.

Dave looked up, "Reid again?"

"Things are getting bad. He bit off Emily's head yesterday when she just brushed by him on her way to her desk. I think he really hurt her feelings this time."

"She's a strong woman. I wouldn't worry about her."

Hotch looked out the window and down to the subject of their conversation. "Yes, she is strong. But she was the only one strong enough to confront Reid about his behavior when he was doing drugs. It took a very long time for them to build up trust again."

Hotch could feel the eyes boring into the back of his head. "Well, she isn't being singled out this time. He's about ready to punch Morgan."

"I know." The unit chief raised the files in his hand, "Let's head down to the conference room."

He stepped out of the office and called down to his team. "Conference room in five."

Everyone gathered and started piping in with the follow-ups to the cases they had been assigned. It seemed to go rather smoothly. Hotch and Rossi noticed that Reid was able to contribute something to every case without biting anyone's head off. An hour later they finished and everyone left the room together.

Reid was met at his desk by Garcia and she waited for his reaction when he read the note she handed him. "It was your dad calling for you. Have you two been talking or something?" She asked cheerily.

"Yeah, something like that." Venom practically oozed from his words and Hotch watched her take a step back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be nosy." She looked up at Hotch on her way out and he simply shook his head. He noticed the looks on everyone else's face before he headed into his office.


	7. Chapter 7

"Why do we always have to do paperwork on Mondays?" Morgan asked from his desk staring at his rather tall stack of folders.

"Quit your whining. We all have a pile a mile high." Prentiss added from behind him.

"Not everyone has a tall stack. You want to help me out here, Reid."

"Do your own damn files." Spencer was really not in the mood to deal with other people.

"Hey, what's up Pretty Boy?"

Reid jerked out of his chair and stomped over to Morgan's desk. "Don't. Ever. Call. Me. That. Again." His voice was low and dangerous and his eyes dared Morgan to say it again. He turned on his heel and went to the break room to get another cup of coffee. Spencer's hands were shaking and he kept seeing flashes of his father, but with Morgan's voice calling him Pretty Boy.

Morgan walked into the break room but kept his distance and spoke quietly, "Reid, I'm sorry. You've never said anything before. I--"

Spencer cut him off, "Please. Don't. Don't say any more." He was on the verge of tears and just wanted the other man to go away. After wiping a hand under his nose, he tucked his hair behind his ear and took a deep breath. Once it was all quiet again, Spencer went back to his desk and used his magician skills to swipe a couple of Morgan's files from his inbox. He then buried himself in work.

Sometime later, he was startled out of his concentration.

"Are you working hard, Son?" William Reid asked from beside Spencer's desk.

Spencer caught his breath and tried to erase the deer-caught-in-headlights look from his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm only in town for a couple of hours, but I wanted to make sure I got to see my boy." The last word oozed 'sex' as it dripped from his lips.

He could hardly breathe and prayed that no one saw them.

"Do you mind showing me where the restroom is? I didn't have a chance to use the facilities before now." William smoothly asked.

"This way." Spencer whispered.

Once William got them locked in the restroom it was Reid's worst nightmare came true. It felt like it went on forever; when William was finally done, he pulled Spencer's pants back up with a jerk and shoved him further into the handicap stall so he could open the door and leave. "I'll see you soon, Son. Love you."

When Spencer heard the door click closed, he slid to the floor and put his face in his hands.


	8. Chapter 8

JJ walked through the bullpen just as Morgan was returning to his desk. "Morgan, we're meeting in the conference room now."

They walked in together and Morgan took a seat while JJ walked to the head of the table.

"Where's Reid?" Hotch asked.

"The last time I saw him, he was showing his dad where the restroom was." Morgan replied.

"No--" Rossi jumped out of his chair and rushed out of the room.

Seeing his frantic action, both Morgan and Hotch ran to join him. Worry began to burn in Morgan's stomach and he was afraid of what they would find. They arrived only moments after the older man and had stepped in to find him holding the large handicapped stall door open and staring at a crying Reid withdrawn into the corner.

Rossi slowly moved closer, but Reid only backed further into the corner and tried to become one with the wall.

"Here, let me try." Morgan said and stepped into the stall. He knelt down and reached his hand out toward his friend. "Hey there, Reid. Come on out. It's just us. You're safe, kid."

Tentatively Reid reached towards Morgan's hand. The tears were still flowing freely and Morgan could feel the pain that burned deep in the younger man's eyes. When the fingers touched his, they grabbed on tightly and he slowly began pulling the sobbing man out of the corner. He was finally in reach, so Morgan raised his other hand--ready to wrap it around the thin shoulders. But he was shocked when Reid started hitting him in the chest with his fists.

"Why?," Spencer hiccuped, but kept pounding away at the older man.

Morgan tried to grab the wrists without hurting his friend. "Reid, stop it."

"Why?"

"Why what?" Morgan was confused at this turn of events. Spencer was sobbing hysterically and the pounding fists were growing weaker.

"Why didn't you stop him?"

Morgan finally understood and when the pounding fists turned and grabbed his dark red t-shirt, he pulled him into a tight hug.

"Let's take him to my office." Hotch said.

Derek struggled to get Spencer loose enough to stand up. When they were standing he had to reach over and fasten up the younger man's pants. He looked over at Rossi and Hotch and saw that they both knew what he had just done.

When they exited the restroom, Hotch wrapped his arm around the other side of Reid and helped Morgan walk him back to his office.

Morgan sat down with Reid still clinging to him on the couch. Rossi reached over to the desk and grabbed the box of tissues and held it out to Reid. The young man's face was a mess. It was streaked with tears and snot running from his nose. The soft brown eyes were red and puffy and ringed by the ever present but extra dark circles.

When Spencer did not take a tissue, Rossi knelt down in front of him and began cleaning his face off. He softly asked, "How long?"

"Aft-ter we came back from Vegas."

Rossi held the younger man's gaze. "He did it when you were little, too." This only succeeded in bringing on another round of whole body sobs. Spencer turned into Morgan and wrapped his arms around the other man.

"Shh, it's going to be okay now. He's never going to hurt you again." He continued soothing his friend until he fell asleep.

Hotch pulled out a blanket and pillow from his cabinet. "Here, lay him down and we can talk in Rossi's office." The two men got their youngest settled and then all three went next door.

"You knew, Dave." Hotch accused.

"No, not for sure."

"What do you mean he knew?" Morgan demanded.

"Keep your voice down." Hotch insisted.

"I didn't know for sure, Morgan. When he went to that hypnotherapist--" Rossi hesitated before continuing. "At one point, he remembered being in his room and his father came in. He started getting agitated and she asked him what was happening. He said that he didn't want to be there and he was on the verge of tears."

"Oh, god." Morgan whispered.

"She didn't pursue it because it wasn't related to the case. I tried to get him to talk to me but he said he didn't remember what I was talking about." The older profiler sat down in his chair and put his head in his hands. "I wished I would have pushed it. I wish he would have told someone what his father was doing now."

"Reid would never say any thing to any of us about this." Hotch said.

"He once accused me of betraying him. Then he said he should have known because any time he trusted someone it was always thrown back in his face." Morgan sat down in the chair across from Rossi and clenched his fists on his legs. He wanted to hurt someone but that someone was no where to be seen at the moment. Besides, he knew his best friend lying in the next room needed him to be here. "So what are we going to do? We can't let him get away with this."


	9. Chapter 9

"Are you okay with this?" Hotch asked again.

Reid tucked his hands into his pockets to hide their shaking. "No, I am anything but okay. But the cameras have already been installed. I have to go through with it now."

"No, you don't. You can back out any time that you want. You say the word and we call it off." Morgan said.

"But then he'll just keep coming." Reid whispered.

"Hotch is going to take the first shift with one of the local detectives."

"I . . . I don't want any of you to see this."

"Reid, we want to make sure you're safe." Hotch said.

"No, I can't do this if I know you have to watch."

Morgan reached over and grabbed Reid's wrist to pull his hand out of his pocket; he gave it a tight squeeze. "If that is what you want, okay. I don't like it and I'm going to make sure they call us immediately."

"Thanks." He quickly reached out and hugged Morgan tightly before stepping back. It was the first time he had initiated contact in a very long time. Spencer knew his friends cared and that was more than he could say about his father.

He tucked his hair behind his ears as he closed and locked the door--silently praying that this would not go on for too long. A moment later he bolted for the bathroom; once inside he fell to his knees and vomited roughly.

***

Across the street the two Special Victims Unit detectives watched the cameras.

"He's getting sick again." Jones stated.

"The stress is really starting to get to him. I'm not sure he can handle this." Betts said.

"When do we call it off?"

"We'll give it at least two more days as long as he holds up. As much as I want to get this guy, if the victim doesn't make it, it's not really worth it." Betts replied.

"But what about other victims?"

"As far as anyone can tell, it has only ever been about his son. There are no other arrests and all his computers and financial records do not indicate that he ever touched another boy. All his files showed that he was obsessed with his son. Actually, based on the amount of information, it was pretty surprising that this hadn't started again before now. Plus, if he was a pedophile, he wouldn't be interested in his son now that he's twenty-six."

Jones took a drink from his water bottle. "I hope he gets help when this is over."

"Yeah, me too."

***

Two days later, Reid staggered through the door to his apartment. He hadn't been sleeping much and they just finished a family annihilator case where five families had been brutally murdered before they caught the guy. It turned out that he had been sexually abused as a child by both his mother and his father. It brought things a little too close to home for him.

Spencer went through his routine of checking his apartment before securing his gun and stowing his messenger bag. He gathered his sleeping clothes and took a shower. Feeling a little refreshed, he walked to the kitchen barefoot with his socks in hand. He started a fresh pot of coffee with the intention of having a cup and offering two to the detectives watching his place. Every night since the cameras were set up, Detective Betts would come over between eleven and midnight and check in with him and make sure he was doing okay. He had a strong suspicion that they could hear him getting sick because the timing would always be about five minutes after. If he didn't get sick, it would be closer to midnight. It was strangely comforting but it still didn't allow him to get more than a few hours of sleep a night.

He smiled when the knock came. The coffee wasn't quite ready yet. When he opened the door he froze.

"Hi, Son. Have you missed me?" William smiled broadly and pushed Spencer further into the apartment so he could close the door.

The only thought running through Reid's mind was how far did this have to go before it would be over for good? He couldn't move a muscle when his father reached up and ran the back of his fingers down his cheek. The smell of Old Spice assaulted his nose.

"I like this look on you. A t-shirt and sweats look so much more inviting than those stuffy clothes you wear to work." William wrapped his arms around his son's waist and started pulling him toward the bedroom. "Why don't you get more comfortable while I take these off?" He instructed while un-fastening his cuffs and taking his tie off.

"Please don't do this dad." Spencer begged.

"Why do you do this every time?" He strode quickly to the side of the bed and backhanded Reid across the face making him stumble and hit his cheek on the night table sending the lamp crashing to the floor.

"I'm sorry." He whimpered rubbing at the blood welling from the cut below his eye. The room was now dim except for the light coming from the hall. It was enough to allow him to see the fury blazing in his father's eyes.

The next thing he knew, William grabbed him by the t-shirt and yanked him up to throw him face down on the bed. He yanked the sweat pants down and quickly started opening his own pants. Reid was frantic; why weren't they coming to stop him? "Please, no." he cried.

Spencer let out a harsh scream when his father managed to enter him. Then all chaos erupted.

"Police, Freeze!" Jones yelled when they burst through the door and rushed to the bedroom.

"What the hell?" William yelled and grabbed Spencer by the hair yanking his head back.

"Get off him!" Betts screamed his gun pointed right between William's eyes. "Cuff him, Jones."

The other detective placed his gun back in its holster and grabbed William's right arm, yanking it back. It was enough to cause William to lose his grip on Spencer and stumble away from him. Once the man was cuffed, Jones roughly shoved him back in his pants and jerked them up tightly.

Spencer had slithered off the bed and was sobbing into the blanket while he listened to everything going on. Detective Betts came over to him and knelt down. "Spencer, it's over." He kept crying.

***

Betts couldn't believe how fast things had progressed. As soon as Spencer had been knocked into the table, he had called back-up and then promptly called SSA Morgan and Hotchner. He knew the kid would need them when this was over.

"Spencer, come on; let's get your pants pulled up before back-up arrives." Betts gently helped him stand and pull the sweat pants back into place. "Sit here on the bed and let me get a wash cloth for your face."

"No!" Panic filled the young man's eyes.

"Okay, why don't we both go into the bathroom then? Okay?" Betts carefully asked. This was a bad sign and he had seen it tear down many victims in his particular line of work.

They made it to the small bathroom off the hall with Reid clinging to the detective's arm around his waist and taking tentative steps. Once inside, Betts pushed the door to but made sure that it was not totally closed. He used a wet wash cloth to hold against the gash on the right side of Spencer's face. It looked like he was going to have a black eye on the other side from the slap also.

Betts was kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet where Reid sat. He used his free hand to hold the young man's icy fingers and ran his thumb back and forth in a soothing manner. "Spencer, I called Morgan and Hotch. They're on their way now." He watched more tears start to flow.

***

It was over. So why didn't it feel like it was over? Spencer was relieved to hear that Morgan and Hotch were on their way. He was relieved that Detective Betts hadn't left him alone but he knew that the man would have to get back to work.

"Reid?" Morgan called from the front door.

"We're in here." Betts yelled.

Morgan pushed the door open and looked down at him. "What the hell happened?"

"He turned violent this time." Betts told him.

"Reid, are you okay?"

Spencer shook his head no and stared at the floor trying to hold in a sob.

Betts stood up and handed the wash cloth to Morgan before leaving the small room. Morgan stepped over and tilted his head up to look at the damage. "You're going to need stitches."

The sob finally broke free. Morgan pulled him into a tight hug.

"Is he okay?" Hotch asked from the doorway.

"No." Morgan replied. "Give us a minute and then he needs to go to the hospital to get stitches.

"I'll go talk to the detectives." Hotch left them alone.

"It's over now." Morgan whispered.

That only produced more tears. Spencer clung to the older man like he was never going to let go.


	10. Chapter 10

SSA Aaron Hotchner was extremely tired. It had been a very long day and finding out that Reid did not want to testify against his father had just been the icing on the cake. Detective Betts had taken him aside before leaving and explained that he agreed. They had watched the young man making himself sick almost every night and he really didn't think the kid would survive a trial emotionally intact. It had weighed so heavy on Aaron's heart that he had forgotten his suit coat and "Go" bag. He needed to switch out the clothes and refill some of his toiletries. So, here he was heading back to the office at half past ten to retrieve the items.

He almost had a heart attack when he opened his office door and flipped on the light. "Reid, what are you doing here?"

"I'm, I'm sorry. I'll, uh, go." He started to get up.

"No, talk to me. Why are you sleeping in here?" The older man was afraid that he knew the answer.

Spencer fidgeted on the couch, gripping the blanket and releasing it. He kept his eyes on the floor, "I . . . I can't sleep there anymore. I . . . I can't st-stand being where he--" He couldn't finish the statement.

Aaron knew that was going to be the answer. He sat down beside the younger man and carefully wrapped an arm around the thin shoulders. "You can't stay here."

"I know." Spencer interrupted and tried to stand up.

"Wait," the older man commanded. "You can't stay here so you are going to come home with me." He smirked when he saw the shocked look. "Honestly, since Haley left me and took Jack . . . well, it's been a little too quiet. You would make it a little homier. Plus, I have a spare room."

"O-Okay."

"Put your shoes on while I put these away." He picked up the blanket and began folding it.

***

"Now, if you are going to stay here you are going to have to get over being shy." Hotch said while reaching into the fridge to get a beer. He really needed one now. "Just help yourself. There's not much in the way of food but you are welcome to it. And don't be afraid to come out and watch TV if that is what you want to do."

"Thanks. I promise I won't be any bother."

"Spencer," he knew that would get the younger man's attention. "You are not a bother. I know you have issues. The whole team has issues for crying out loud." He saw a strange look cross Reid's face. "Okay, so maybe you have some really big issues. But don't think that any of us are going to stand back and let you go through this alone. Now I am going to make a sandwich. Do you want one?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. Now go get changed or take a shower if you want." He had to take hold of the boy's shoulders and turn him in the direction of the other room where his bag was currently residing. Aaron could see that this was going to take some work, but he was determined to help the young man through this. He was too special a person to let this ruin him.


	11. Chapter 11

Aaron watched Reid talking to the victim's family. It was amazing the change that had taken place in the last two months. The SVU Detectives had reported that they were able to get a probationary sentencing against his father without his testimony. The man wouldn't be going to jail but he would be doing community service at the LV jail and he was restricted from leaving the state and had a restraining order to keep him from seeing Spencer whenever he was there visiting his mother.

He walked over and placed his hand on Spencer's shoulder and was pleased to see that there wasn't even a slight flinch. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." Reid turned back to the family. "I hope you all are able to move past this. Please try the support group that I gave you. I know the organizer and he would be happy to work with you. If there is anything I can do to help, here's my card."

The two agents walked out of the glass front doors and headed to the black SUV that had been left for them.

"How did you get stuck with just me?"

"Everyone else was ready but you were still helping the family. I volunteered to let them go if they wanted to crowd in the other vehicle and I would bring you." He pulled onto the express way heading for the airport.

"You could have just said something."

"No, what you were doing was important. I'm proud of you you know." He saw the young man whip his head around. It was almost comical.

"Why?"

"Because I know how far you have come to be able to connect with the family and to help them see the other side. Do you remember your first case with the BAU?"

"Uh, sure."

"I remember how this young man was smarter than anyone in the room but he was afraid to speak up. But when it came to a distraught father wanting to see his murdered daughter's body, you stepped up and knew exactly what to say to get through to that man."

"I guess I was still naive then." Spencer fidgeted with the hem of his sweater vest.

"No. You let your heart lead you in dealing with the man's feelings. But the years of cases, your mother's ups and downs, Gideon screwing with your head, Hankel and his drugs, they all took their toll and you pulled back. You became afraid of getting hurt and seeming weak." Hotch looked over to see Reid flexing his hands against his thighs.

"And your father and his abandonment, abuse when you were little, and then the return of everything you thought you had gotten past. I'm so proud of you that you didn't shut down and you're letting people in again." He reached over and squeezed the bony fingers.

"That means a lot. It has really helped being able to stay at your place and have someone to talk to. Detective Betts has been really great, too. But like us, his job makes him not always available."

They pulled in and parked. "After we get settled on the plane, there is something that I want to talk to you about." Hotch said.

***

Reid and Hotch stowed their bags and then settled in seats facing each other. Once the plane was in the air and the engines had leveled to an acceptable noise he began. "Reid you've been staying with me for two months now. Have you thought about your long term plans?" He watched the younger man looking at his feet and fidgeting with his fingers.

"Uh, I've tried looking for a new place but a case keeps coming up and by the time I get back to it it has already been sold or wasn't exactly in living condition. I promise I'll find something as soon as we get back and I'll be out of your hair before you know it."

"Spencer," Hotch had found that using the kid's first name was an instant way to get his attention. The only problem was that now he was looking at him with those kicked puppy eyes. "That's not what I meant. I just wanted to know if you had thought about future plans. I know everything has been pretty much getting through each day but you seemed like you were moving to a new level." He glanced at the rest of the plane to make sure that no one was paying them much attention.

"I was actually wondering if you would like to move in with me permanently or at least for the foreseeable future."

Reid just gawked at him for a minute. "Are you sure?"

Hotch let a smile creep around the edges of his mouth. "You kind of grow on a person. It's nice having someone else to make dinner for and someone else to help keep things cleaned up. I'm on a month to month lease and most of the furniture came with the place. We could find some where that works for both of us, some place that would have a lot of book shelves."

"I-I'd like that a lot. I've always lived on my own after my mother was admitted to Bennington. The universities were afraid of liabilities with roommates so much older that I never even had that experience.

Hotch watched the young man tuck his hair behind his ears and lean back in the seat in relief. Despite his better judgment, he really enjoyed Reid's company.

"Have you thought about seeing any of the therapists Detective Betts told you about?" Hotch asked.

"I've thought about it."

He watched the nervous tension return to the young man. "And?"

"I just don't think I can talk to anyone about what he did."

"You talk to me."

Spencer scratched the side of his nose. "That's different. We're at your place when we talk."

Aaron reached over and stilled the nervous hands. "No, it's different because we're at home. I'm glad you're more comfortable around people and I'm glad that you can talk to me. But I worry that a professional might be more experienced with what you're going through."

"I can't." Spencer whispered.

"Okay, but promise me that you'll still think about it. It hurts to hear you screaming in your nightmares. You're always going to have nightmares about something with this job. But you have no idea how much it hurts to not be able to protect you from those memories. It was bad enough watching you every day and seeing how he hurt you. It's worse knowing what he had been doing and that now that it is supposed to be over that you keep reliving it."

He saw the beginnings of tears in Spencer's eyes.

"It really does hurt you. I didn't know. I'm sorry." The young agent quickly ran a hand over his eyes.

"It hurts me because I care."

"I know. No one has ever cared enough to hurt for me."

"You're mother does."

"No." Spencer sniffed. "She loves me of course. But she never knew what was going on when I was little. She thought it was all in her head. And all the other times, she was having an episode and couldn't see reality much less that I was hurting on the inside."

"That's why I want you to move in. You don't need to be alone any more. You've spent too much time on your own already. It's time you learned how to be with others." They both sat back in their seats and enjoyed the rest of the ride home.

***

It was a rare Saturday that they had off. So, Reid and Hotch went back to his apartment with boxes in hand. "I don't think I can do this."

"Yes, you can. You're not doing this alone, besides how are you going to move on until you get your stuff?"

"But . . . every time I opened this door. I see his face smiling at me." He was starting to shake now.

"Then let me open the door." Hotch reached over and took the keys from the tense fingers.

The older man opened the door. Reid's breathing was starting to come too quickly. All he saw was his father standing there smiling at him. Hotch took a hold of the wrist carrying one of the boxes and pulled him into the entry hall. He tried to pull his hand free from the other man. Spencer could feel his father's hands running over his skin. He started jerking his arm harder trying to get away.

"Reid! Look at me!" Hotch yelled.

"No, please." The boxes were pulled from his fingers and then he was being shoved back out the door and then down the stairs to the car. When the fresh air hit his face he stopped in the grass and dropped to his knees finally losing the contents of his stomach.

He felt the strong hands rubbing his back and pulling his hair out of his face. In one part of his mind, Spencer knew that it was Hotch. But in the close proximity to where every thing happened he couldn't help but flinch away from the hands.

"It's okay, just take your time." Hotch said.

He slowly moved away from the messy grass and wound up sitting on the stairs. Hotch returned and this time crouched down in front him. It helped to not see the man looming over him. Spencer took the offered napkin and bottled water. "Thanks."

"Let's go home. Morgan and I can come back later and take care of packing things up."

"But--"

"No buts, we don't mind. I thought it would be good for you to put it behind you and make a fresh start. I was wrong. I told you you should be seeing a professional."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop it. There is nothing for you to be sorry about. Now let's go home and you can get some rest."

***

"Hi, Morgan. It's Hotch. I need a favor."

_"Sure, what's up?"_

"Are you available next weekend to help me pack up Reid's apartment?"

_"Yeah, but I thought the two of you were going to do that this weekend."_

"It didn't go exactly as planned." Aaron sat down on the couch and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

_"What happened?"_

"He freaked out. We couldn't even get past the front door. I managed to get him outside to the grass before he got sick."

_"Is he alright?"_

Hotch could hear an accusation in that statement. "He's in his room sleeping now. But he's really upset about what happened.

_"When do you sign the lease on the new place? I can get some guys I know to help and we could move all the furniture. Rossi could pack up his books while we do that and Garcia could stay with Reid."_

"We sign the lease on Thursday and get the keys but we can't occupy until Friday. I really appreciate this."

_"Well, I wouldn't mind helping you out Hotch but you know I would do anything for Reid. I'm going to stop and get Chinese and bring over a movie. You know he will obsess over what happened if we don't keep his mind active."_

He rested his head back against the couch. "Thanks. Give us at least two hours; he hasn't been asleep very long."

A loud scream erupted from Spencer's room.

"Shit, I've gotta go." Hotch hung up the phone and threw it on the couch.

***

Hotch ran into the bedroom and Spencer was sitting up shaking.

"Are you okay?"

"No." The younger man whispered.

"Talk to me."

"Why did he do that to me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?"

"I don't know. I wish that I did, but I don't. I am so sorry that he hurt you like this. You turned out to be a wonderful person in spite of him and then he just came back into your life and did it again. You were really fitting in and finding your place."

"I'll never fit in any where."

"Don't say that. You already fit in." Hotch approached the bed and carefully sat down on the edge. He watched the young man fight the tears that were pooling on the very edge and ready to spill any second.

"How can I go back to before this started?"

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out. I promise; we'll figure it out together." The older man hoped that he was right.

Hotch got up and pushed Spencer to lie back down. "Try to get some more rest. Morgan is bringing Chinese and a movie. You know it will be some action movie that you will say is just riddled with machismo. You need to rest so your mind is alert and ready to defend your position." He hoped for a smile but didn't get one.

Aaron closed the door and walked to his room to find the list of therapists that Detective Betts had given them. He didn't care if Spencer wanted to go or not, he was going and Hotch was going with him.

***

Two weeks later.

"Stop complaining over there." Hotch looked at Reid staring out the passenger side window.

"Tell me again why you are coming

"Because the doctor thinks it would be a good idea since we are living together."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Spencer asked.

He sighed. "It means that I have feelings about what happened too. It also means that I am your support system."

"Oh." The younger man just sunk deeper into the seat.

"I promise this will help. You believe me don't you?"

Spencer didn't answer and Aaron realized this was probably going to be harder than he thought. He hoped that the group sessions with the two of them would help them keep from hiding the truth. He knew that he was just as guilty of doing that but the kid really needed this.

"Spencer, talk to me."

"I hate being stuck on desk duty. Let me back in the field. Please." He begged.

Hotch sighed again. "I can't do that. You're not ready."

"Yes I am." he whined.

Aaron pulled into a parking space and then turned in his seat. "You are not ready. I'm not doing this to punish you. You need to allow yourself to work through your emotions. I know you consider it a dirty word. But it's not, and I haven't exactly been the best role model there. I'm sorry." It had been a horrible scene when Hotch had pulled him back out of the field. The flashback had been a wake-up call that the kid had been taking drastic measures to avoid sleeping when out on a case so he wouldn't have nightmares.

"We're here, let's go." Reid ended the conversation by getting out of the car and walking to the door without waiting for the other man.

***

"Spencer it just takes time. I know you are used to being able to whiz through things but that just isn't going to work this time." Dr. Attler handed him a tissue. "You're not broken and you don't need fixing. I'm just here to help you get where you want to go. You know the psychology behind all of this and in your head you know the answers. Aaron and I just want you to know it here." He reached over and touched Spencer's chest indicating his heart.

"Our time is up for today." The doctor walked back over to his desk and began writing on a prescription pad. "Now this is a very low dose and I want you to take one in the morning. If you are feeling overwhelmed through out the day, you can take another one but only if it has been four hours since your morning dose." He tried to hand the script to Reid.

Spencer wrapped his arms around himself. "I don't want medication."

"You really need to try this. It's not much and is easy to take you back off."

Aaron stepped forward and took the piece of paper. "Try it for me, please?"

Reid turned and left the office without another word. He waited at the car for Hotch to unlock it. After they got in he waited a minute. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"No. I think you have had enough for one day."

He turned toward the window and wiped the tears from his eyes.

***

Six months later.

Hotch walked in and carefully closed the door. It was after midnight and Reid usually went to bed early if they were not out on a case. He turned around and spotted Spencer curled up on the couch with his arms tucked under him trying to keep warm. The kid was always cold and usually kept a sweater on at home and typically sat underneath a blanket on the couch. Something wasn't right. The older man walked over and shook the foot that wasn't curled in between the cushions.

"Reid, go to bed."

"Hmmm."

"I said get up and go to bed."

Spencer sat up and rubbed his eyes before grabbing his glasses off the coffee table. "What time is it?"

"Twelve ten."

"Where were you?" Reid quizzed.

Hotch gave him a strange look. Apparently, Spencer was waiting for him. "I stopped off with a friend and had a drink."

"Sorry, sorry. It's none of my business." He tried to stand up and almost tripped over his book that was lying on the floor.

"Easy. Tell me what you wanted."

"It's nothing."

"You know that line does not work with me. It was obviously important to you."

Reid reached down to the coffee table and picked up a box with a bow on it. "Uh, I got this for you." He held it out to Hotch.

He carefully took the present knowing it must be important to the younger man to have him waiting up. Under the lid lay a brand new watch. He carefully pulled it out of the box and began to examine it. It was the one he had been looking at online last week. When he turned it over, there was an inscription.

_Thanks for taking the time. Always, Spencer_

"Thank you. It's exactly what I wanted."

"I, uh, I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you giving me a home. Well, more than just a home. There's not many, okay none, that would take me in with all my problems and definitely none that would see a therapist with me."

Hotch really looked at the young man. "You're wrong, you know. The rest of the team would have been willing to help you out. Morgan specifically would have done exactly what I did and more. Do you know why he helped move us in here?"

"You bribed him with pizza."

"No. That day that you were unable to go back into your apartment I called him. He flat out told me that he would be willing to help _me_ but that he would do anything for _you_." He placed the watch on his wrist that had been bare since his other watch died its final death. "I love this Spencer. Now go to bed, you're freezing. I can see the goose bumps from here.

Spencer walked through the kitchen and headed to his room.

THE END


End file.
